


bags and bottles

by limpbizkitfan12



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Angsty travis phelps, Bisexual Sal Fisher, Boys Kissing, Cocaine, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Everyone Is Alive, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Neil gbf, Sal and larry stoner dudebros, Salvis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29712096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limpbizkitfan12/pseuds/limpbizkitfan12
Summary: sal and travis become friends and get together in the summer, a day when travis decides to travel to the city to escape with his crush, sal fishr
Relationships: Ashley Campbell & Sal Fisher, Sal Fisher/Travis Phelps
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> its the end of the senior school year and start of the summer, things change lol

sal: ever since that day, and that... note... we've been meeting up in the bathroom on the 3rd floor all the time. to talk, study and whatever. he gets better once you get to know him. that is, if he lets you get to know him. its been almost a year, weird. 

travis spends his nights on the bus, to who knows where... a couple hours after school he goes out to do something with whatever leftover pent up rage he gets from his dad. he leaves nockfell pretty frequently. theres alot of rumors, kinda hard to believe once you get to know him. i wouldn't know. travis got pretty comfortable talking to me, and telling me how he spends his days, and how he's feeling, and how things have changed. but not enough... or at least i think so. well... for me, theres always a sunken tension between us that i never really understood. like when you really wanna tell someone something that you've been thinking about for days, then you forget all about it as soon as you get the chance. kinda like that, but way more awkward. its our summer break after senior year. surprised i made it this far, these years weren't as bad as i thought they would be. i have a group of amazing friends, that i get to do fun shit with all the time. its not bad, at all. 

travis: its been almost a year now... weird. i wonder what he's doing right now. he's probably gonna forget all about me after this summer. anyways. my dad just left the house to run errands, i have some time to get through the daily routine. step one, get up. it used to take me a couple of hours to get up. but when i started to talk to sal, i had some sort of motivation to get up and go to school. shocker. i sound so fucking corny, but it's true. i can just stay in bed until they have to take me to the hospital, or until kenneth breaks the door down again. or i can stay in the bathroom, but it burns. i don't know how im gonna get up with him gone. god im fucking gross. i still have time to smoke and make myself something to eat and maybe leave. depends on my luck. i could take the bus to a friends out in the city for safety and something to pass the time. its been 3 months since ive seen my mom. she calls everyday. i know she'll come back, she always does. shes lovely, and stupid. if i were her, id leave me here and save myself while i still can. she's at her mothers house because she needs a mental break. he doesn't let me go. don't let him near guns either, because im sure he's fulfilling his oh so pure faith when he threatened my mom with a gun to her head. it shouldve been me, but atleast she has an excuse to leave. finished my cigarette, had some eggs, maybe i can get dressed before he gets here. where's sal? should i call him? if he comes to these parties he's gonna know. everything about it is fucking gay. from the music to the coke and just the whole area. one time, me and neil had a weird interaction while i was half up a line. it was... weird. im surprised he hasn't told todd or sal yet. i can tell when they know shit. they're really loud whisperers. so typical. it's not like he's gonna go anyways; let him know your... thinking.? about him? no that's stupid. ill do it anyways.  
narrator: Travis calls his city friends after getting dressed, ready to leave, and heading for the bus. He stops to get a morning coffee and waits at the stop. His father ended up doing "night shifts". Which is what it sounds like. He missed the first one as usual, not familiar with most of the terminology still, since his father refused to let him on any of those buses; that is unless he put him out on the streets again. his mother wouldn't have let him, but he has his ways. it always gets done. Sal is home with Larry playing video games after a smoke sesh. 

sal: "DUDE!!" larry screams. "you are so st-upid..." i laugh. he thinks he can go to work this fucked up. we laugh until our ribs hurt. "Rich loves me you think he's gonna say anything?" "rich fucking hates you dude." we share another laugh. richard is his boss. he's been taking small jobs at the record store during school to make some extra money on the side. he's been trying to get me work for months, but the face... "distracting". i appreciate the effort though. he's the best brother anyone could ask for man. "c''mere" i lift his chin and fix his eyes so he won't get fired. we share a high five before he leaves for work. "good luck i hope he doesn't catch your ass" we laugh as he opens the door. "Pray for me" he giggles as he leaves. he's a real trip, literally. i hear my phone buzz in my pocket. probably one of the gang, probably todd after me and lar got in his parents room last week. best mistake ever. oh, its travis. not gonna lie, i missed travis. if larry found out, he'd kill me. he hates his guts. i answer the text fast. for some reason, he couldn't bear to ever call me.  
"hey!"  
"hi.."  
...  
....  
"travis?" "helloo"  
"are you busy today sal"  
"nah, larry just left for work, what's up"  
"do u wanna hang out"  
"sure!!"  
"where... lol"  
"with my dad it'll be really fun"  
"lol"  
"im going to a party tonight"  
"its in the city tho ur gonna have to take the bus"  
"i can borrow the truck, meet me in 15?"  
"u sure?"  
"yeah"  
"alright"  
"see u! :))"  
"yea"

travis: cheeky bastard. i knew he'd do some stupid cute shit like that. now my hands are shaking and its cold as fuck and im 10 times more anxious than i was before. i hop on the bus on my way to addison apartments. oh god, those creaky ass apartments. so stupid. a couple months into our friendship, sal invited me over to study at his place. and how could i say no. i pulled some stupid homo shit so fast i didnt even know i was doing it until he asked.  
"travis...? travis? travis!" he wakes me up from my 5 minute stare session. "its rude to stare yknow" he laughs. "you gonna open that book or do you just want me to do it for you? its gonna cost a couple dollars though, or an ounce if you know the right guy." smug little shit. "shit, s-sorrys- i forgo-" he laughs. "its fine, don't stress it. this is boring, do you smoke?" hanging out with sal and watching him play air guitar high like a dork is one of the best feelings. just forgetting about everything and just feeling like... this is it. or atleast i wish it was. spending time with him is a dream, regardless of what we're doing. he leans into the question. ugh. i caved in and after a couple of minutes of snickering and staring at eachother, i went in for a kiss, like a fucking idiot. he forgot all about it but what the fuck was i thinking. i busted my ass on the edge of the bed. he remembers that part though. he could've antagonized me with the important part. maybe he does remember, and he just feels too bad to bring it up. ugh. i reminisced of that moment for so long i almost missed my stop. i got off and walked infront of addison apartments. 

"hey"  
"im here wya"


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sal n travis road trip and tat time

"come up to 402 i gotta pack"   
"alright"  
travis: i put my elbows over my face as far as they can go, in fear of being noticed, and speed walk to the elevator. to my surprise, there was nobody there to antagonize me. luckily, i got up to 402 just fine by myself. theres this weird luck that i have every time we end up together. he opens the door and greets me again, with cheery eyes and a slight smile. you can just tell he's cheesing like a loser through his mask; its adorable. but id never tell him that, of course. i stop and stare and dissociate for a little while like i always do, always fucking setting myself up. im so stupid when he's around. "come on trav!!" he giggles. i cant stand him. i see a pile of clothes on the bed. i put my bag down, but i don't know if im mentally ready to wear the clothes i like infront of him. or if he's mentally prepared to see me in them. with me packed is the usual. my mom lended me a pack of her old clothes and thats usually what i go for. this leather jacket from who knows where, a cropped cut up tshirt i got in a group brawl last year, and some low rise black jeans. i glare at the outfits sal has on the bed. one is a sanity's fall shirt, pair of red, black and green plaid jeans, with a variety of bullet belts for each outfit. the next one is, once again, another sanity's fall shirt with a blue flannel and some black ripped jeans. the last one is a red sweater with a pair of red and black cargo shorts and a bullet chain. this dork even painted his nails. great. "uhh... i like the first one. do you mind if i.. change?" "go for it" he turns his back. like im gonna change infront of him. "its okay, ill go in the bathroom." "alright, you remember where it is?" "yeah." i go in the bathroom to change. im nervous. i usually put some eyeliner on before heading out, but he'd catch on. he'd definitely catch on and he'll put the pieces together eventually. "TRAVISSS!! your little pen fell out of your bag!" shit. might as well. "ill be-" he bursts into the bathroom like an idiot while im half naked. "smart move." "SHIT!! SORRY! HURRY TAKE IT ITS IN MY HA-" he's facing the wall while trying to hand me my stuff. what a dork. "thanks." he apologizes again and shuts the door. i finish getting ready and head back to his room. he looks cute. shit. "heeey." he greets me awkwardly. "sorry... i- but im ready! come on! the cars gonna be hot by the time we get out of this damn building" he laughs. of course he just had to grab my hand and run down the stairs down to the parking lot. could he tell i was sweating,   
i hope not.  
we get in this wreck of a fucking car, you'd know it was larry's from a mile away. chips and beer and random shit just... everywhere, a broken bong, hot glue gun and scotch tape?? and a shit ton of quarters. a cd player on top of the rims of the carseat instead of the actual radio. sal starts playing some music and takes a sip of my coffee. "mhm, what is this?" "coffee, what else would it be" i snickered. "no its not!!" "what do you mean no its not" i giggled. "then why is it cold and sweet?" he muffles with a mouth full. "because its iced coffee?" "wooahh thats a thing?" "yeah??" "woah"

we've been driving for about a half an hour. i cant stop dissociating and daydreaming that we could be this close all the time. i catch myself lost in his eyes, or his eye. whatever. you get what i mean. aaand he's still eating. jesus, this boy has a fast metabolism. he rests his head on my shoulder and yawns. i feel chills down my spine and sweat in my palms. "are we closeee?" "almost. i think so" "its only 3, we have some time, stop here!" anxiety creeps all over me. why is he stopping. where is he going. what are we doing. he grabs my hand and runs to some creaky brick buidling. "SAL WHERE IS THI-" he puts his hand over my lips. "SHH CMON!!" he says cheerfully, excitement pouring out his lungs. its a tattoo shop. "rob!!!" sal screams as he runs to what seems to be a friend of his. he gives his friend a hug. "finally decided?" the friend says to him. "not yet, but hey-" he grabs me and pulls me in his sight. "traaaviss...." "you are fucking crazy if you think im doing that fisher." "cmon itll be fun, we'll match i promise." i give in. he looks so happy. how could i say no. we end up getting 2 small skulls on the mid sections of our arms, on the house. after 30 extra minutes of crying and screaming. ha, not from me though. sal doesn't know when to shut up and insisted i get pierced. my eyebrow is numb and my tongue feels.... interesting, but he loves it. so im not complaining. his friend and I laugh. we skip downstairs and he puts our arms together. "its so sick, you like it trav?" "i love it, sa- " fuck. "GOOD!! ah its dope i wish ash was here to take pictures!!" ash. what a way to ruin my high. i envy ashley campbell. just hearing her name makes my head hurt. she's probably one of the sweetest people you'd ever meet. but i saw the way he would look at her. it made me spiral into a jealous and angry episode. not her looks or the way she dresses, or the way she sounds... her charm. the ability to be there for someone, to comfort someone. she knows how to talk to people. i don't. i wish i wasn't so envious of her, maybe id be less of a cunt. she could teach me a thing or two about socializing. shes not the problem, its me. i know that now. he tugs my hand downstairs and we finish our trip to the clubhouse. his expression lights up with joy and excitement. it makes me feel warm and accomplished. i didn't think i could make someone feel that way. he sways his head and rocks his feet to the glaring music in the car as we head out. we could do this forever. just being around him feels intoxicating. he rests his head on my shoulder once more, putting our arms together again. "thanks for stopping by with me, i really hope you like it" he says as he looks up back at me. i shiver and my face goes flushed. he laughs at me. "of- no problem.. its cool, totally..."  
"think your dad's gonna say anything?"  
"who cares."  
we share a laugh, then we keep our drive going. resting on eachothers shoulders.


	3. Chapter 3

travis:  
we continue our road trip from there. sal's been munching on snacks and singing some of his favorite songs. he lets his phone ring a couple of times. so do i, i don't want to be bothered, not right now.   
narration: Todd and Neil made plans tonight for the gang to go to the movies together. Sal wasn't made aware of this, and due to loss of connection, the boys made other plans.   
*ring *ring*  
todd: ive been pacing around this room for about a half an hour, trying to get everyone together for tonight. neil puts his hand on my back and smiles at me. "im sure its nothing, don't think too hard." he says. but, even ashley hadn't answered. i know larry's at work but sal isn't. "cmon todd, they'll answer eventually, we can go up to 402 and pay them a visit if your that scared." he laughs. after the 4th call, ash answers.   
"helloooo" ash replies.   
"finally!!"   
"sorry about that, i had to run a shit ton of errands all morning. so much for a summer break"  
"tell me about it haha"  
"now im left with nothing to do, any ideas for tonight?"  
"me and neil wanted to see a movie tonight, but larrys at work... maple and chug are out, and sal- i dont know. he hasn't been returning any of my calls or my texts. his phone can't be dead cause' its not going to voicemail. should i be worried or am i overthinking it"  
" i'm sure he's fine! maybe we can all stay in and crash at your place tonight if things don't go as planned"  
"without sal?"  
"he has to answer eventually, he always picks up-"  
"so i should be worried."  
ash laughs, "do you want me to try and ill hit you back?"  
"alright, see ya"  
"baiiii!!"   
*beep*  
i hope it works, ever since that bologna.. situation.. sal's been disappearing more often. maybe im overthinking again. "not to scare you, neil adds, but your intuitions are usually right." hearing him say that worried me a bit, like he knew about something I didn't. "but you know sal, he can't be doing anything too worrying, im sure he's fine right now." he laughs, then mumbles, "probably his little boyfriend keeping him company," then cracks another laugh. i turn to him with a snicker. what? "forget it, forget it" he says as he laughs hysterically under his breath. what?? i ask, laughing with him. are you high right now?? we both start to laugh. he grabs my shoulders and loudly whispers, "you had to have caught on too," caught onto what.?? "oh come on todd, you know his ass got other friends-" he says, sharing another laugh. yeah sure... like who? neil holds his laughter and mumbles, "like... lik-" come on!! i say as i giggle in excitement. "like travis" LIKE WHO?? I HEARD THAT!! we continue to laugh hysterically, in shock. "I REALLY THINK SO!!" he replies. THERES NO WAY. YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR. we laugh. "this shit is messy. this is SOO messy." where did that COME from?? i ask him. he stands idle and quiet for a second. he trips on his words, "i wasn't supposed to say that" say what.? "sometimes you just have a gut feeling, yknow?" he saves himself with that line. i dont know where he got that theory from but he is right. god, that IS fucking messy. but if thats the case, i wonder how larry would feel about THAT. larry hates his guts. i never really cared for travis though, or his cheesy rude remarks. sometimes, they'd even make me laugh. jusstt because i we could see right through him. i mean, come ON, its not hard to tell. sometimes me and neil would pick him apart in our free time, so if that's a case, it was never a big secret. but sal? i have a weird and rapid conflicting feeling of belief and doubt in my head right now. neil interrupts my loud analyzing, "well..." he laughs, "at least he's... safe???" is he really though. we hold our ribs together in laughter, and hold eachother in our arms as we turn the tv back on.   
neil: me and travis have had alot of... encounters. one time, he was so high he basically told me all about the way he felt about sal. he threw himself in my arms and just cried. i didn't wanna mention anything to todd, but it just slipped out. especially since i hate seeing todd pace and worry. watching the anxiety and fear crawling all over him after any slight inconvenience makes me sad, so i had to improvise. i just hope he forgets so we can spend a night in peace, maybe without an anxiety-induced lecture about anything that's happened to him. well, atleast we can forget after tonight if ash and sal don't come through. 

ash:  
cmon... sal.. answerrr!   
"ive been blowing up ur phone dude answerrr"  
"sal"  
"sallll"  
"sally faceeee"  
"helloooooooooooooooo"

travis:  
sal's phone has been blowing up, so i silence it. i hope he doesn't notice, i doubt he is. he's been dancing for a couple minutes now. he looks so cute, im glad he's having fun. i stopped to get us some drinks. i know sal doesn't drink, so i got some coke from the freezer behind the bar. i try to come back, but i can barely see through everyone hawking over eachother. my vision gets hazy and i hear a certain scream from across the room. i forgot how many pills i took before getting in here. im looking around in daze and confusion, when suddenly, i see a group of people and sal running upstairs. shit. you can't turn away from him for a second, can you. i feel my heart sink and run through the crowd. i try to get upstairs as fast as i can. upstairs, theres 3 rooms and a bathroom. the grossest bathroom you could ever imagine. i have no idea where he went. i just start frantically opening doors, suprised I didn't walk in on any gross hookups yet. i opened the second door to see. ugh, not now. todd, neil and sal are together, along with some friends in the back flashing their tongues at eachother. oh god, i hope this isn't sal's first time. then, i see them hand him a bag of candy. oh yeah, this is definitely his first time. they all stop and stare at me. sal runs to me and grabs my arms, todd and neil stare in some sort of denial, and my friends wave to me and call my name. could this get any worse. "COME ON TRAV!!" sal says as he grabs my hands and drags me to the dancefloor. we sway and squeal and laugh at eachother for a while, but things start getting too loud, and too fast. but i could only focus on sal. how happy he was, and the way he looked at me. not realizing how many things just happened at once, and how low my blood felt. my eyes widen as i start to feel sick. sal stops right with me. i don't care for my health as much as i care for him, so i grab his hand and we keep dancing. we run back and forth to the bar, and i get an idea. we head upstairs to the roof. stargazing on the roof with a drink in one hand and sal in the other barely feels real. i was so glad to be with him, falling in eachothers lap and cracking jokes, forgetting all about how sick my stomach felt. how hazy my vision got. i took another sip. we spent another couple of minutes glaring into eachothers eyes, hopefully he can enjoy this without me fucking it up. i felt myself growing sicker, so i layed down. he came down with me. we layed there and bonded for a couple of hours, and just when he rolls over, i can't hold it in anymore. i take a large gasp and faint.


	4. Chapter 4

sal:  
what. the. fuck. all i can see is travis on the floor just totally fucking out of it, but i cant hear like, anything. i try to calm down and... fuckin... REVIVE him or whatever and then i sink into thought. what if he died and it was all my fault? is he dead right now? what if he never wants to speak to me ever again? is this all my fault? what if i never get a chance to thank him, or tell him that i kinda liked that staring contest we just had. well, i dont think ill ever tell him that bu- wait... is he breathing? SHIT! i pick travis up with all i can and start running downstairs to the bathroom. running was a fucking struggle. i kept stopping, because i thought that i tripped and fell, or that travis slipped out of my arms, but i didn't. i finally make it downstairs and run to the bathroom. im guessing somebody saw me. i lock the door and lay him down. god, this bathroom is fucking disgusting. theres someone in the shower?? just... laying there. they look dead too. i start trying to see if travis is still breathing. i don't know shit about this. i sigh loudly as i start getting more and more anxious. then, i hear loud knocks on the door. is a murderer loose, did someone roofie him? am i about to die. i start going into a panic. todd and neil bust into the bathroom. "WHAT THE FUCK?" they say in unision. i try explaining to them, but i can only loudly slur my words. neil grabs me and travis and todd grabs the keys out of his bag. they go back into the second room. "ugh", the city girl with the big hair that i talked to before says. "come on, i usually take him and zara to the walk in hospital a couple blocks away when they get too fucked up. hey sam!" its sa- "my car has all the stickers on it, ill be down in a sec." we get in the car, all of us stuffed into the three seats and a shit load of junk. we start driving, FAST. we almost get into a crash. this chick is nice and all, but she really can NOT drive. "WATCH THAT POLE!" todd says and we all cover our eyes. the coast is clear, so we keep driving. right outside the hospital. we all get up, finding ways to improvise and pray travis's dad doesn't hear about it, then suddenly, i look down at my lap. everyone else stares in disappointment. travis gets up and yawns, then looks back up at me. "ugh, i just had the worst dream, i-" then he looks around him. he laughs awkwardly. "kennnnn.... we're driving around? haha" she stares back at him for a while. me, todd and neil stare in shock. she starts to burst into laughter. they all start to laugh. "your such a cunt" zara says, as they all laugh hysterically. "at least you didn't throw up in the car this time" travis says. she throws a bag of candy at his head, "such a fag" the rest of us just sit idly... in relief... sure but... god. they turn the radio on and the volume goes all the way up. the girls tap neil on the shoulder, "don't be surprised this happens like, all the time" they all laugh. he looks back at travis, they glare at eachother for a second, then he turns his head away. todd puts his head back and sighs in relief. they all sing and scream on the way back to the house. we get out of the car and the girls grab travis hand, kick off their shoes and run back into the house. that was alot to take in. me, todd and neil lock the car and walk back inside. neil grabs my shoulder, sighs, then laughs. "i guess him and larry do have some things in common." we all awkwardly laugh, and make our way upstairs. I completely forgot about todd.. and neil. they're probably so confused right now. shit, I didn't think id see them here. neil looks fine but, todd? i feel bad for him. you shouldve seen the look on his face. like... the WHOLE time. i pick up my phone and see 12 MISSED CALLS. shit. it was ash. why didn't i get them? i was probably too high to even acknowledge them. we sit on the bed upstairs, while travis and the others are going nuts downstairs. not a very wise choice, but atleast i have time to process... THAT... with todd. neil doesn't look fazed at all. like, not one bit. a little worrying. "so..." todd starts. "so.." "your boyfriend's fuckin crazy" neil says with a laugh. they both look back at me, waiting for a response. i laugh back, not knowing how exactly to respond. “haha yeah sure, neil. well, are we going back down... or” “so you don’t have alot of explaining to do” neil replies, they both laugh. “we’re just friends, its whatever-“ todd chimes in, “since when?” “its a long story, but its fine its... chill” they both laugh. “whatever you say, sally face. we’ll meet you downstairs.” i hope i played that off well. “alright, see ya” i head downstairs with alot on my mind. he seems to be fine now, so what happened. i go downstairs and frantically search through the crowd. i see travis and a group of friends singing loudly and shotgunning a couple of beers. they seem to be having fun, i wouldn’t wanna be a burden or fuck up the mood if i ask him what happened, so i run up to them. he turns to me happily with a big smile on his face. “SAL GET OVER HERE!” he says. he grabs my arm and we dance and sing for a while. we spin until our heads get dizzy. he drunkenly puts his hands on my shoulders and loudly whispers in my ear, “sally!! thank youim havingsomuch- fun...!” i giggle in response, im glad he’s happy. out of the blue, he turns his head and kisses me on the cheek. well, not really my cheek, but the intention was. did he just do that? like... did that really just happen. i don’t wanna overthink now, or make him think he did anything wrong, so i just let it slide and keep dancing. we party for the rest of the night, until we can’t feel anything anymore. we passed out by the end of the night. not getting a chance to talk about that. alot of people left by now, so its a couple of drunk partygoers and the rest of the friends ive made along the way. i wake up to todd and neil shaking my shoulders. i let out a yawn, discovering id been sleeping on the floor next to a pile of garbage, with trav in my arms. “had fun?” todd asks as they both laugh at my... situation. “yeah...” “well, are we heading back?” “i- shit... what time is it...” its almost 3 am, shit. larry probably is worried sick, and ash hasn’t gotten a response from me. oh no... travis... his dad. id been thinking out loud. “what about his da-“ todd adds, but then falls into realization. “you go... do your thing and ill start up the car. give me the keys.” i pass him the keys and attempt to wake up travis.


	5. 5

travis:   
what... even happened last night.... i wake up in a haze, not sure if i even made it home or not. fuck, my dad. he's definitely home by now. if he finds out i left the house, my ass is dead. what time is it... oh. at least its not a sunday. the last time i didn't make it home on a sunday, things got bad. really bad especially since i was home during church. i try to calm myself down for once, and i recognize where i am. is this... sal's room? of course it is. i turn my head and look beside my shoulder to see him laying next to me. oh no, did we.. do anything? i can barely recall anything from last night, other than his friends showing up. its still irking me, i wonder if they thought anything of it. they had to have said something. but nothings coming to me. he looks so precious when he's asleep. i wouldn't wanna wake him up. i get up and walk to the kitchen to get myself a cup of coffee, i make one for him too. i open the window and sit on the small staircase on the side to smoke and recollect my thoughts. i hear a yawn from inside. i think he woke up. i put the cigarette out and sit back on the bed. i try to put my anxious thoughts to the side and greet him. he yawns and turns over to slide his prosthetic back on, then looks back over to me. he sits up on the bed next to me. "oh.. hey, good morning' trav" "hey..." "are you okay? i thought you almost died last night" "wait really?" "yeah; you passed out after taking something and just... got up like it was nothing. we tried to take you to the hospital but by the time we got there it was too late aha" shit, i definitely blacked out. "oh god i, im so sorry. that was really stupid i, i probably fucked the night up for yo-" he laughs. "it was fine, really. as long as your okay." "i- i got you something," "is it sweet like last time?" "haha yeah" "give me that" we share a laugh. i must've scared him shitless. god; i feel so horrible. why did i have to do that to him out of all people? at least he took it well... i think. i hope he took it as well as it sounds. "trav, do you... remember anything else from last night?" "uh... no not really. I remember having fun but not really... specific details or anything i just-" "i don't wanna... worry you or anything but i.. you kinda, well... last night- nevermind, forget it." "last night i did what" "don't worry about it, i promise. you hungry?" he makes his way to the kitchen to make us something to eat. there's ALOT on my mind. did i do something last night? is he mad at me? did i say anything stupid when i was drunk? fuccck. probably pulled the same stupid homo shit i did last night. i need to build a fucking wall over my emotions, and some better self control. i lay back down, fidgeting my hands together. he comes back with two english muffins for us. "shit forgot the jam, be right back." "hehe, dumbass" he sits beside me and takes my hand, then looks away from me. "i had fun too." "what?" he looks back at me "last night, you told me how much fun you were having. well, so did i. we should hang out more, yknow" he replies with a smile. my face is flushed in red, it doesn't take long for him to notice. "what, your gonna go on about how you don't deserve friends again? and about how i shouldn't want to hang out with you because your the absolute worst? im being honest, i really did." he lifts his prosthetic slightly and gives me a peck on the cheek, then leaves back to the kitchen to fetch the jam. did he just... did that really just happen? i touch my cheek, in denial. after causing him all that trouble. this boy is unpredictable. do i love him? of course i do. but, my complicated ass can't accept that. so, the reasonable thing to do? exactly what he said i would. burst into tears and rant about how i don't deserve love, and how he shouldn't want to hang out with me. not only am i a shitty friend, but the shittest faggot son to the shittiest father. if he found out... that not only was i out, but a boy kissed me, i would be literally dead. he'd probably actually bash that baseball bat into my skull like he said he would. he came back with the jam and put the tv on, i threw myself into his arms in a uncontrollable panic attack. "hey, hey," he says at an attempt to comfort me, while patting my back. "your okay, okay?" he says while looking down at me, petting my head. i nodded back, and we watched the rest of whatever was on this shitty tv. a little over an hour later, he gets up after getting a call. im not sure from who, but he tells me to get up. "you know how to ride trav?" he presents me with 2 bikes. "yeah, where are we goin-" "shh, its a surprise, come on!!" he takes some snacks, some joints and a polaroid camera that ashley passed down to him a while back. he grabs my bag as well. he even packed one for me. "come on, grab this!" he says as he gives me more snacks and bullshit I wouldn't eat even if i was paid to. he grabs my hand and we run down the halls to the elevator. ill be damned if we see anyone. we run outside and set the bikes up, he tells me to follow him. out of curiosity, i looked all around me to make sure nobody's watching me. i see larry getting out of his car, from what looks like running errands for his mom. i turn back as fast as i could and cover my head. "alright, lets go." we get on, then he proceeded to take the bumpiest and strangest road possible. he shouts in joy, and a smile back at him. we start going fast, i have no idea where im going. but that doesn't matter. i couldn't ask for a better afternoon.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally what yall been waiting for

travis:   
we made it. what even is this? where is this dork even taking me. its just a... alleyway. weird. but then i notice something, this place looks oddly familiar. i just can’t put my finger on what exactly this place is. or why it makes me feel so warm. i look around and back at sal, who’s behind me putting our stuff down. and then i notice how close this is to the school. i get into a deep train of thought, that is interrupted by sal. “you remember this?” “remember what?” “when we ditched class and we came here? the first time we actually really hung out, haha” “sooo corny.” “it was more corny when you ran away because you couldn’t finish your sentence-“ “shut up dude” we share a laugh. we both sit down, heads resting on eachothers shoulders, as we watch the sun go down. corny i know, but im not complaining. we talk and share snacks for a while. sal stops and looks back at me, munching on another snack. “what were you gonna say, anyways.” “ugh, we’re still talking about that.” “yea, we kinda are, trav” “it was so awkward i dont even wanna think about it” “well, do you remember?” “i mean-“ i stop for a second. he definitely knew. i was gonna tell him that i loved him. but i was too much of a little bitch, and pushed him away. literally. “i dont...” he stops and stares back at me, in denial. then he laughs. “you do, just spit it out geez i wont be mad.” “its stupid you don’t even wanna know” “if its so stupid why can’t you just say it already” “i- i..ll tell you later, i wanna finish this clip.” “suit yourself” he replies. we finish a couple of joints and bond for a couple hours longer. we’re both laying on the pavement, practically in eachothers arms. his hands are in my hair as we both stare into the sky. its a pretty day. but it won’t be so pretty when i get home. i might as well spit it out before this is the last time i ever even see him again. “its nice out.” i say, trying to spark conversation. the comfort raised some sort of unknown confidence in me, i think i could do it. maybe, just maybe. i could finally tell him how i feel. “you like it?” sal replies. “yeah im ha- im glad its so... nice... out.” what a great first try, executed in a absolutely horrible manner. very fucking obvious that im suppressing my thoughts. he could practically see right through me. “yeah, it is pretty nice out. i haven’t been outside like this in forever. i could do this all day.” “yeah...” i mumble under my breath. “what?” “its really nice out, sal. im glad we went out.. side.” “sure.” that didn’t sound too good. was he agreeing with me? am i overthinking it? is he mad at me? he’s probably caught on to my bullshit now. just waiting for me to stop being a little shit and just say what i want to actually say. but, its so hard. how would he take it? how would his friends react? who would find out? would he tell anyon- “you’re basically thinking out loud, trav. “ he points out and laughs, then puts his fingers in between mine. “you okay?” “yeah, yeah totally im fine, its cool. yeah.” “mhmm.” i change the topic of conversation and we start chatting about funny stories. shit that happened in school, it sucks having to hear about how much time i wasted antagonizing him for nothing. i wish i knew what he could’ve done for me. that year was, horrible. just the fact that talking to him for 5 minutes on a gross bathroom floor helped me face some degree of the pain at home says a lot. i was getting nothing and everything. i felt like an object. i don’t think ill ever be able to recover from it fully. it sucks having to hear about all the funny things that his friends did, and all i could do was watch and stare from a distance in envy. i wish i could just go back, then maybe I wouldn’t be trying to form a good enough scenario in my head as to how telling him i love him would go. “i wish we could’ve done this sooner.” he said. oh god. here goes nothing. i turn away from him. “you think i should’ve just told you i loved you back here?” he laughs. then turns away from me. “that would’ve been nice.” “you think so?” “yeah,   
its never too late, you know.”   
i couldn’t even bear to look at him. what do i say? “how else can i bring that up without sounding like a total loser.” he turns his head back to me and laughs. we get closer to eachother, my heart trembles with fear but i do it anyways. we both lean in for a kiss. he lifts his prosthetic and kisses me gently. i could’ve never seen this happen. but hey, it is now. he lets go and rolls over with me, going in for another. the sun is down and its getting dark and late. we let go and laugh, then stay idle for a couple seconds. i cant believe that kinda just happened. “i love you too, trav” for the first time, i felt cared for. i felt actually needed. not for abusing or being poked at, or being a joke. like, really needed. i try to hide my tears, so i don’t confuse him again. but, god. i couldn’t ask for a better night. eventually, he had to take me home. we both didn’t want my father to end up killing me. “but shit, we’re on bikes, sal.” “ill just park by the side to make sure you get inside safe.” “no sal im totally dead. just- just drop me a couple blocks down, i promise ill get your bike back tomorrow.” “do you even wanna go back there” “do i really have a choice?” we laugh, both anxiously. he always has this need to chime in and save the day, but in this case. he better not try any of that shit. we share a couple more kisses before heading back to my... residence. if you will.


	7. 7

sal: after a good night, i have to drop trav home. i really, really don't want to. i know what he has to deal with. so, ive strategically mapped out a plan in my head. ill park on the side of the road, near the window of his room and make sure he gets inside safe. i really, really don't want him to get hurt. i can't even bear to listen to the stories. he always tells me not to be a smartass and try to "save the day" but i can't just sit there and let that happen. how can anyone get... used to that? its psychotic. its unbearable. i know who he is, he doesn't deserve that. thats why he has such a temper, he really, really doesn't need that. i just wish he could stay here forever. that house is cursed. one time, a day where we were studying together, i offered to let him stay with me. he quickly shut down the idea and gave me an attitude. when i asked him why he would ever want to stay there, he was just... so... confusing. he said he deserved it, and that there's nothing i could do to help him. and that listening to him talk was a waste of my time. i tried to get him to stop talking about himself in that way, but he just snapped and stormed out. he thought i couldn't notice him crying before he slammed the door and threw my stuff across the room, but i did. i always do. this is one of the first times that he hasn't snapped in a self-deprecating rage. i know he doesn't mean it, and i see how he changes when i just has someone who cares for him. thats all he needs, i just wish he'd realize that too. if he keeps letting his dad continue the cycle of abuse, and go through it alone, he's gonna go crazy. sometimes i even stay up wondering if he's still alive. at first, when he said his dad was crazy, i didn't think it was that bad. but it is. it isnt even bad, its so much more than bad. its brutal, its fucking evil. going through that and feeling unwanted. god, now that im deciphering that, i can only imagine being in his shoes. it makes me wanna cry too. i ride by some nights to talk to him through the window, i usually text him prior, but sometimes he's just alone, constantly crying and hurting himself, trying a different pill every night, just for being hurt himself. it breaks my heart. i don't want him to ever feel like that, ever again.   
"are we out, or what?" travis asked, as i dissociated before we left. "shit, sorry yeah, come on" i really didn't wanna take him home. i know that I didn't have any choice either, i don't want the consequences to be any worse for him, he's been through enough.


	8. 8

travis:  
me and sal are riding hand in hand, then i notice a gas station around 3 blocks away from home. "stop here." "you're still hungry?" sal says in a joking manner. "you can drop me here, ill do the rest myself and ill have the bike back by tomorrow i promise." "oh come on, just one moree blockk-" "no sal!" i laugh at his tone and give him a loving push. "pleaseeeee" he replies. "absolutely not." i lean from the bike to give him another kiss on the forehead. "im out, see ya" i just wanted to be with sal forever. no worries. just us. he rides away. my heart sunk. i felt my world caving in as he rode away. i didn't even wanna start walking home. i took a deep breath and clenched my fists together, i had to put up with it. i have no choice. i start walking very slowly, to "home". never once have i ever, felt like i was at home. that house is fucking hell. i get to the main doorstep, with anxiety creeping up and down my spine. i unlock the door and look behind me. even worse than i imagined. him. my father was right behind me, with the car, looking restless. what a piece of shit. he stood out for so long to cheat on my mother, and he'll blame it all on me. we glanced at each other from the corners of our eyes. my heart sunk down to my ass. that’s when i knew, i was dead. i had to come up with an excuse, QUICK. not like it would prevent anything, of course. i walk inside and he stands on the porch for a minute. i head back to my room and quickly start unpacking my bags, shoving the bag underneath my bed. he chimes in. i quickly hop back on my bed, next to my empty bag. he glares at me in frustration, then takes the bag from my side. he empties the bag to find nothing but a bottle of water. “where have you been.” he says. “i was running errands while you were gone..” i reply, underneath my breath. “interesting, its almost like we have fucking water in the house. isn’t that right.” he grabs the half-empty bottle of water and unscrews the cap. he splashes the remains over my head in a guilty rage. he starts to anxiously pace around the room. “you couldn’t just STAY in the HOUSE like you were instructed to. instead, you INSIST on getting your fucking nose in all of my fucking business so you can tell-all to your mother, huh?” he slams my desk into the wall. i turn my eyes to him and back, holding in my frustration. “oh DON’T look at me like that. what were you out doing huh? ANSWER ME LIKE A FUCKING MAN. you think your a man?” he takes a bottle of my pills from his back pocket, and chucks them at me, hitting the floor. “IF YOU THINK YOUR SO GROWN HOW ABOUT YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE? YOU CAN GO OUT AND DISGUST ME WITH WHATEVER YOU WANT, TRAVIS. SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT TIME, DOESN’T IT. CAUSE ALL YOUR GOOD FOR IS MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A FUCKING JOKE?? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM. DO YOU? DO YOU HAVE ANY. CLUE. WHAT A MESS YOU. YOU. YOU ARE MAKING?” he starts to make a complete mess out of my room, breaking my frames and my furniture, and turning my bed over. “ITS ALWAYS YOU. ALWAYS FUCKING YOU ISNT IT?” he continued to chuck my belongings at me. “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR. START PACKING.” i just sit idly, waiting for him to give up so he can blame me to my mother. “YOU CAN STAY WITH YOUR JUNKIE, FAGGOT, LITTLE SHIT FRIENDS FOR THE NIGHT. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? ANSWER ME! FUCKING ANSWER ME” he grabs my head and pushes me onto the floor. “lets see how long you’ll last. i cant WAIT to see whats next. first it was the, “preachers son tries to kill himself, next it’s gonna be “preachers son is on the streets doing fucking crack”, i do everything for you and this is how you repay me? you are NOTHING without my influence, you heard me? he bangs his elbow into the wall. once. “NOTHING.” twice. “NOTHING.” he starts to pace around the room again. he starts to laugh, that fucking laugh. ive never heard anything more evil. “you can’t even look me in the face, because im right... im right.. you can’t even answer because you know im right. im ALWAYS RIGHT.... “ i just stare at him, and back to the wall. “your a fucking joke. weak. WEAK. you got that from your mother. your her son. you’ll never live up to my name.” he grabs my sweater and throws me against the edge of my bed frame, as he hears a knock on the door. my mother’s home, i hope. he turns back to me before leaving. “it’s your lucky day.” he whispers as he slams my door on the way out. i start tidying up as quickly as possible. i leave my room and take a quick peek downstairs. fuck this. im not cleaning for that fucking tramp. the woman my father has been seeing behind my mothers back decided to pay a visit. i hate her fucking guys. she has nothing on my mother. nothing. i hate her. i hear a knock on my window, so i run back inside my room before my distracted “father” and that home wrecking white woman notice me. i look out, and see no one. i grab my phone from under the bed, and i see a couple of missed texts. from sal.   
“im not leaving u  
lets go”   
i look out the window again. i see sal with his bike and his arms out... what an idiot. he thinks he can catch me. i start to cry. he had to have heard that. what’s wrong with him? why would he stay? why? i poke my head out of the window and whisper under my tears,   
“sal!! what the FUCK are you doing here?? go!!! it’s not- im not worth it” “shut up travis lets go!!!” he whispers back. i sigh in defeat. how. could i say no. “n-no sal just-“ oh no. he’s climbing up the gate. what does he think he’s DOING? “SAL!! STOP- OK IM COMING, FINE FINE FINE JUST DO NOT.” i quickly run back to my room and start packing my stuff. im gonna get myself in deep shit. oh well. before i go, i might as well stir the pot. i gather my bags and throw them out the window, into sals arms. i take a deep breath. and yell from the top of the stairs, “WHAT ABOUT HIS WIFE YOU PIG FACED BITCH!” then, i make a run for it. i climb out of the window and sal grabs my hand. he took the bike from the front already, and we started riding as fast as we could.


	9. 9

travis:  
we get off the bikes and take them on the bus. we sit down in relief. my heart is pacing fast. this feels just like drugs, god. sitting down after that running and the riding felt like laying down after not eating breakfast for a week. i place my head onto his shoulder and put my hood up, as we wait for our stop. "why did you do that." i ask. "what do you mean WHY did i do that. im tired of it, i know you are too. im not letting you have to deal with that. no. no way." sal replies. i sigh loudly and place my head onto his chest. he wraps his arms around me. we get to our stop, and to my luck. it starts raining. he takes my hand as we run, soaked, to the apartments. i felt warm, and cozy. he makes me feel a little more like a person. we run into the apartments, laughing together without a care in the world. i start to sink into the feeling. just us. not my dad, nobody else. just this. that's all i want. we get into the elevator. the heat sinks over me, and the bruises start to burn and itch. i groan slightly in pain. "are you okay trav?" sal says to me as he puts his hand on my back. "ill be fine, i swe-" he interrupts me, "ill make us something and set up the shower okay? thats okay right?" he asks as he gazes back at me. "yeah. i'd like that, thanks." i reply as we head back to sal's place. nobody was home. well, his cat was... cooking for himself? weird. i like him though. he's kinda like his own little... person. neat. he brings my stuff into his room and sets up the shower for me. "if you need any help with it let me know, okay?" he says to me. "oka-" he. ran. his hands. through my hair. he pats me on the back. "let me know if its too hot." he says. "o-kay.." he definitely heard that. i turn my back and head to the bathroom. i didnt even look at the medicine cabinet. ive never felt like this before. i think im going crazy. i dont deserve this. i dont deserve him. what am i doing here. theres a fucking bubble bath. for christs sake. i get in and its soothing, sure, but a part of me can't stand even being apart from him. i try to bathe quick, not very common of me. i usually take long baths to avoid my father, but theres no need. all i want is to get out of this bathtub. but i cant help but daydream. of being here, with him, forever. everything. i can see it already. but someone like me won't last long. it wont be long until he hates my guts. just like everyone else. its a big fear of mine, maybe the biggest, but i cant say i didnt see it coming. sal has already done so much for me. what could i ever do for him. nothing. im nothing. father is right, i cant do shit. i glance at the pills at the top of the sink. one couldn’t hurt. i take the razor, to remind myself of my worth. for every mistake. for everything. for the disappointment. for falling in love. this is what i get. this is what i deserve. suddenly, im interrupted by a loud knocking on the door. i need to finish punishing myself. five, six, seven, eigh- “trav you alright in there? its been a while” i panic and drop the razor. i become unresponsive. i hear another knock on the door. “trav?” “YEAH! yeah, im- o-kay!” i try to reply as fast as i can, but a response can barely leave my mouth. he replies back an okay and heads back to his room. i wipe the razor down and put it away. the last thing i want to do is disgust him more than i probably already do. i grab a towel and head to his room. i open the door slightly, only peeking into it. “can i g-get my bag..” i ask. he looks back at me. “yeah come in” he replies. im too anxious to change... in there...   
he’s gonna see it. all of it. the burns, the bruises, the marks, the cuts... the... scar. that one. carved into my back. forever. it makes me look like a fucking monster. like a psycho.   
im gonna gross him out. how could he even pick someone like me. what do i have. i go into his room and sal walks into his closet, picking clothes. i quickly change in the corner. then i realize, fuck. i lost my shirt. did i take it? i turn to sal. “sal have you seen my shirt?” he looks back at me. its pretty awkward, he kinda just sat there. so did i. he shakes his head. “your what?” he says. “my shir-“ “YEAH! yeah, yeah... your shirt.. i- didn’t see any..” shit. i didnt take my shirt. only this soaked sweater and my jacket. fuck. he turns back to his closet and throws me a shirt. it’s one of his shirts, it smells good. it feels warm. i wanna keep it. ugh, shut the fuck up, weirdo. “thanks, i-“ “do you like it?” he asks. “i- yeah i... i do. thanks.” he yawns and lays down. “cmere” he says. i sit on his bed next to him. he turns on a stupid show about some tan girls with big boobs from new jersey who like to get drunk and fight at the club. how romantic. he takes a handful of popcorn and eats as he laughs at the ridiculous show. a couple of hours pass by, and we get ready for bed. he gets up and puts a band t-shirt on and some sweatpants. he laughs as he looks back at me. “you’re staring again, trav.” shit. i was staring. for a while. “what?” i say, trying to play it off. he laughs again and lies next to me. he yawns and takes me into his arms. he takes his mask off before bed. i can’t see much, since he turned the lights down. i don’t care though, he’s perfectly fine to me. he kisses me on the cheek before bed. “goodnight.”


End file.
